


Let's Get Carried Away

by jeonghooniesan



Category: SEVENTEEN (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Angst, Anxiety Attacks, Depression, Eventual Smut, Fluff and Angst, Fluff and Smut, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, M/M, Smut, Suicide Attempt, and jun understand soonyoung more than mingyu, and wonwoo is still bff goals, but mingyu still loves him, but thats ok, man this fic is depressing, soonyoung is a bigger mess than he thought
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-16
Updated: 2017-08-07
Packaged: 2018-12-03 00:04:36
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 9
Words: 19,650
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11520339
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jeonghooniesan/pseuds/jeonghooniesan
Summary: Kwon Soonyoung and Kim Mingyu start dating, but their relationship start in a rocky path because of Soonyoung's reputation and emotional instability—but then again, Mingyu doesn't Mind.Sequel to "This Night is Far From Over."





	1. The Sound Of You, An Outlasting Vibration

**Author's Note:**

> HELLO !!!!!  
> I started this prompt as a mere smut fic, but it ended up having a sequel and an angsty story hahaha i love ansgt sorry i write better when it's angst (because its mostly referenced to my own emotional instability lol)
> 
> It's better to read "This Night Is Far From Over" because i explain how they met and how they further fell in love in that fic. You can skip the smut lol but pls read that one first then this :)
> 
> Have fun reading and let's start and roller coaster ride that is SoonGyu angst !!!!
> 
> Fanfic title from "Nice2KnoU" and chapter titles from "Drugs and Candy" both by All Time Low !!

_**Mingyu** _

His life at the moment was nothing but pure bliss. Kim Mingyu has finally made his way into someone's heart, knowing fully well that this person had a reputation of avoiding commitment. It humbles him to think that he was the reason why this person changed his mind about love. Dating Kwon Soonyoung was everything he had ever wanted. But Soonyoung has this reputation of avoiding anything related to relationships beyond friendship and fuck buddies. The older had this reputation of fucking and be fucked by anyone ever since he announced himself a proud pansexual in university, and that's how his reputation started.

The first news was when a senior—Soonyoung a mere sophomore—invited everyone in the university to his birthday party in a club; free drinks and a lot of grinding is to be expected, and they did not disappoint. Mingyu, a freshman, went to said party, to experience the party life of college, and to also get batshit drunks out of vodka and beer.

Mingyu remember the first time he saw Soonyoung; it was under flashing lights, a crowd of sweaty bodies separating them, and Soonyoung was grinding on the birthday boy. Mingyu heard some whispers of 'he must have guts to grind on a senior' and 'damn he knows how to dance', and so he stares a little bit longer. The birthday boy had his hands on Soonyoung waist, Soonyoung's ass on the birthday boy's crotch. Soonyoung had his hands on the birthday boy's hair behind him, his lips parted, and Mingyu swears he sees Soonyoung's breath come out as a fog. The birthday boy had his eyes on the sophomore's body, his lower lip being bitten by the upper.

A few moments more of grinding, and Mingyu giving quick glances at the sophomore, Soonyoung's being lead out of he club, the birthday boy holding his hand, and hazy eyes grazing through the crowd. Mingyu keeps his eyes on him, and eventually, Soonyoung notices, staring at Mingyu but with a confused look. The sophomore gave Mingyu a toothy smile, and he was gone. Mingyu remembered his heart being uncooperative after. He remembers how his heart just skipped at that smile.

After that night, rumors moved around about Soonyoung fucking the birthday boy and his gang and, quote unquote, was the best orgy the seniors ever had. Mingyu's heart sank at that, but he can't exactly do anything about it because he never really interacted with Soonyoung; just had that one stare and smile moment, and that's it, a lonely memory that lasted a few seconds.

Mingyu continued his freshman life. He often heard news about Soonyoung, mostly about who he fucked at this party or that one time he fucked one of his batchmates, Jihoon's the name Mingyu thinks, and dated him, which ended up just being a 2 week relationship because Soonyoung couldn't help but fuck another person whilst dating.

Mingyu continued his freshman life, and when it ended and his life as a sophomore came, he was bombarded with a list of projects he had to pass all in 2 weeks. Being a film major demanded a lot of creativity to come out of his brain, but it ran out after 3 days. He started going out with his friends to clubs, just to unwind, and he comes home fully inspired and had creative juices flow through brain again. It eventually became routine, Mingyu bombarded with homeworks and papers to write, his brain draining, he clubs, and goes home tipsy enough to start again with the cycle. But after a few months of routine, rumors of himself started. He was eventually dubbed 'prince' because of his handsome face and humble demeanor, but was also called the 'epitome of sex' whenever he's in the club.

He couldn't really help it, being tipsy in a club always lead to grinding on someone, and Mingyu always made sure to never go home with anyone. But he still had rumors going around of him being a sex-god or something, and Mingyu would just snort at that, because the only person he has ever fucked was Xu Minghao, a Chinese transfer and his room mate, when he came home drunk and imagined Minghao as that sophomore he locked eyes with when he was a freshman. But he could never admit that.

And so both of them had a reputation; Soonyoung a 'fucboi' and Mingyu a 'prince'. Having them together was a surprise to all because everyone has always thought that Soonyoung could never fall in love and have someone fall for him, and Mingyu would find a regal woman or man, as beautiful or handsome as him, that could turn heads.

But Mingyu and Soonyoung worked it out.

**_ Soonyoung _ **

It was their monthsery, 3 months and counting, and Soonyoung couldn't be more happy. Mingyu decided to treat Soonyoung to an expensive dinner for this occasion, and Soonyoung has a thousand butterflies in his stomach. Imagining Mingyu glow under a dim light, in a suit, his hair pushed back, and his hand intertwined with his was pure blisss.

Soonyoung stood on front of his closet, doors open to reveal all of the clothes he owns—which wasn't a lot. He was in a state of slight panic as he brows through his arrays of hoodies, sweaters, and baggy t-shirts. "Wonwoo! Oh my god Wonwoo help me!" Soonyoung shouts as if something dangerous happened to him. He heard rough footsteps run to his room and his best friend appears, shock and panic evident in his face. "Shit, Soonyoung, what happened? Are you hurt?"

"I dont have anything to fucking wear." He whines

Wonwoo sighs and his shoulders visibly relaxes. "Fuck i thought it was an emergency." He rolls his eyes and turns on his heel to go back to whatever he was doing in the living room.

Soonyoung follows him. "I swear, Wonwoo! It's an emergency. Please help me."

He sees Wonwoo sit down on the couch, the tv playing a rerun of a drama. "For fucks sake Soonyoung, I'm watching here. The fucking cast is about to burn the body and you want me to pick out a shirt for you? Fuck that shit."

Soonyoung rushes to kneel on front of Wonwoo, blocking his view of the tv, and Wonwoo moves his body to see the tv, but Soonyoung follows. "Please! Aren't you my bestfriend?" Soonyoung pouts and Wonwoo scoffs.

"Aaahhh I don't know how you'll survive without me." Wonwoo stands and walks to his room. After a few minutes, he comes out with a set of clothes: 3 dress shirts (white, pastel blue, and velvet purple), 2 black slacks, and a pair of leather shoes. He throws them in the couch. "Here. Try these one." He was standing behind the couch and staring at the tv. "These are my old clothes that are too big for me. I'm sure they fit you."

Soonyoung strips down to his underwear and tries on the slacks. The first slacks are too tight on his waist, but the second one was fitted right, even being tight enough to accent his ass. He doesn't take off the slacks and tries on the dress shirts. The white one makes him look like a waiter, the pastel blue one makes him look like a high schooler, and the velvet purple one makes him look like a dad. Soonyoung grunts with the velvet purple shirt on and Wonwoo looks at him. "Damn you look like a dad." He laughs at Soonyoung.

"I know."

"Although, if you style your hair, it can actually work. Just borrow that and push your hair back. You'll look hot like that."

"Is my best friend actually complimenting me?" Soonyoung gives Wonwoo a grin.

"Don't push your luck, Kwon."

* * *

 

"Alright. Fuck, I'm nervous." Soonyoung checks himself out one last time at their living room mirror, trying to fix his hair even though nothing changes ever time he touches it. He feels a pair of hands on his shoulders. "Hey, don't worry. Mingyu's beeing dating you for 3 months, and I'm sure he wants his time with you to stretch longer. Besides, he's seen you butt naked, so this doesn't matter." Wonwoo pinches at the fabric of his sleeves. "This is just for formalities."

"Okay." Soonyoung sighs and relaxes his shoulders. "I'll be home late. How about you?" He faces Wonwoo.

"Jun wants to get taco bell and sit at the park, so I'm going out. Will you be walking?"

Soonyoung nods and grabs his belongings: keys, cellphone and his wallet. "Yeah. It's just a few blocks away."

Wonwoo looks at the clock by the wall and looks back at Soonyoung with a worried look. "Be careful, Soonyoung-shi. I know it's not that late, but you'll never know."

"Don't worry Wonwoo. I know taekwando, remember? I'll be okay."

"If you say so."

And when Soonyoung walks out of his safe flat, walking towards the restaurant where his boyfriend will hold him, he thinks that the night will go well.

He thought wrong when five pair of hands grabs and drags him to the side.


	2. There's Something I Can't Shake

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Shit goes down, and Soonyoung gets hurt.
> 
> Idk how to write summaries ok

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter's pretty short but chapter 3 is kinda heavy so pls spare the length of this chapter haha

_**Wonwoo** _

He wrapped his arm around Junhui's arm, his cold frail body finding warmth on his skin. It was night's like these that he was thankful that he believed in love; believing in Junhui was love, and he doesn't want to change a thing.

Junhui picked Wonwoo up from his flat to go out for taco bell a few minutes after Soonyoung left. "I'm glad Soonyoung finally found someone to complete him. He has always seemed lonely." Junhui said when Wonwoo told him that Soonyoung went out on a date with Mingyu. He too was glad to see his best friend fall in love. Soonyoung admitted before when they were in high schools that he felt lonely; being the only child and his parents divorcing in the middle of his adolescent life took a toll on him. Soonyoung refrained from falling in love, always finding intimacy in someone else's arms temporarily. When he found his sexuality and declares himself a pansexual, more boundaries was taken down, finding temporary love in a man's arms. Even Wonwoo had a taste of his lonely moments, having to comfort his depressive state in a pile of school work by having Soonyoung's dick rub against his. Wonwoo felt ridiculous at first, but he realized how Soonyoung was struggling to find what he badly needed.

Wonwoo knew Soonyoung was depressed even when the latter says he's not. Every time he comes home a session of sex with a stranger or a friend, he always beats himself up, locking his door. Wonwoo could always hear the wailing sounds of his crying. And if Wonwoo hears a crashing sound, he would always barge in his room, finding Soonyoung on the floor, curled himself into a ball and vulnerable. Wonwoo would always carry him to his bed and brush his hands through his hair, and Soonyoung would sometimes pull his arm to silently whisper 'stay'. Soonyoung would burry himself on his best friend's chest, and they sleep like that, in the confines of his loneliness. So, Wonwoo is glad that he doesn't need to do that anymore. He's glad that he doesn't see Soonyoung come home crying, that he doesn't need to ask Soonyoung 'how was your date?' when Soonyoung starts the conversation before he even asks, that he sees Soonyoung smile at him every morning because was on the phone with Mingyu the whole night.

"You know what, Junhui? I hope they last. I hope they get married and i hope they adopt children and grow old together. I can't stand seeing Soonyoung depressed every time he comes home."

His boyfriend hums. "Didn't you say there was a time he... Tried to you know..." Junhui looked at Wonwoo hesitantly.

"Tried to jump off the apartment complex? Yeah. And we live in the 5th floor. He didn't even realize until i was dragging his whole body back inside the flat."

"Maybe he was spacing out."

"Yeah, he was. He didn't even cry. I just lead him to his room, made him lie down and sleep. He explained the next morning that he didn't even know that he stood up from his desk. I was panicking when he said that. I'm just glad it stopped and he found Mingyu to hold."

They were holding each other, hand in hand, when they heard a loud scream. Junhui and Wonwoo glanced at each other and walked towards the noise.

"Just give in, you slut. You like this, right?" Wonwoo heard one voice, and he can hear someone panting and struggling,

"I thought you didn't mind being fucked? You're gay, right?" Another voice said, and the panting was louder now.

"What did your friends call you? Hoshi, right? Is that your stripper name?" A 3rd voice said, and Wonwoo snapped when he hears that name. Wonwoo looks at Junhui in confusion and Junhui mirrors his expression. "Babe, isn't 'Hoshi' Soonyoung's nickname?"

Wonwoo runs, and when he sees a group of men ganging up on a person, he screams. "Hey!" He says it firmly. The group of men turns their heads to him and he saw the man who screamed lying on the ground, struggling to keep his clothes on. "Soonyoung!" He approaches the group of men, and he recognizes them as seniors at their university who has repeated more than 3 years of college.

One of the men walks up to him. "You know this slut? Wanna join in?" He says with an evil grin on his face, and Wonwoo is infuriated. He throws a punch to his abdomen hard enough that his knuckles hurt, and the man on front of him falls to the ground. "That 'slut' is my best friend. Don't you fucking touch him!" He kicks the man on the ground on the stomach, and the four other men walks up to him, ready to fight.

Junhui walks in and martial arts his way through the four men like the wind. Junhui throws a punch and kicks another firmly on the face. He pushes one person's head on a wall and twists another man's arm behind their back. The five men flees with some of them having their noses broken. Wonwoo runs to Soonyoung, and he sees Soonyoung crying, shivering, and broken. His right sleeve torn off, some of the buttons missing, and his slacks almost bellow his knees. Wonwoo tries to approach Soonyoung but he hesitates. Soonyoung was rocking back and forth and Wonwoo's chest aches.

"Hey, Soonyoung. It's me, Wonwoo." He says, softly, keeping a safe distance. Soonyoung turns his head and stares at Wonwoo. "I'm going to need you to stand so that we can go home. Can you stand for me, Soonyoung-shi?" Soonyoung nods and tries to stand, but when he's on his two feet, he struggles, his legs trembling. Wonwoo holds his arm to help him up. Wonwoo looks at Junhui and he has his brows stitched together in worry.

"Babe, can you carry Soonyoung for me?" Junhui agrees and pulls up the sleeves of his sweater. "Hey, Soonyoung, I need you to trust Jun and let him carry you, okay?" Soonyoung gives a small nod and Junhui faces his back on front of Soonyoung. Wonwoo helps his best friend climb Junhui while he fixes Soonyoung's slacks so that his boxers wasn't shown. Wonwoo walks beside Junhui and he glances at Soonyoung. His best friend had his head buried on Junhui's neck, his hands trembling, and Wonwoo reaches out for it and he holds it the whole time they walk home.

* * *

 

Wonwoo helped Soonyoung change into his favorite sweatpants and hoodie, strands of his hair falling down on his face. Soonyoung is enveloped by blankets on the couch, and he's staring at nothing, face blank and unreadable. Junhui's at the kitchen making tea for all three of them, and Wonwoo at his room calling Mingyu.

Wonwoo hears 2 rings and Mingyu picks up the phone. "Wonwoo? Where's Soonyoung? He's an hour late, i'm kind of worried he forgot." He hears Mingyu chuckles at the other line.

"Don't worry Mingyu, he's here at home."

"What? Why's he there?"

"He got... Attacked by a group of seniors." Wonwoo's voice cracks, his words lodging his throat.

"Attacked? What do you—"

"He got sexually assaulted, Mingyu." He can feel tears fall down on his cheek. Wonwoo can hear utensils dropping on the floor and a chair grazing wooden floors loudly at the other line.

"I'm coming over." And the call ended like that. Wonwoo stares at his screen until it turns off. He walks out of his room, and he sees Junhui offering tea to Soonyoung, but Soonyoung doesnt answer and continues to stare into space. Junhui sighs and puts the cup down on the coffee table.

"I just called Mingyu and he says he's coming over." And right when Wonwoo says his name, Soonyoung rips his gaze from nothing and turns his head to Wonwoo, wide eyed and chest rising and falling in a rapid state.

"What? Mingyu's coming over?"

"Yeah. I told him what happened and he didn't even hesitate to end the call. He's coming over."

Soonyoung rises on his feet, grabs the spare keys to his room, and quickly runs to his room, locking the doors. Wonwoo tries to stop him, but it ended up having his face being greeted by a slamming door. He tries to open the door, twisting the knob furiously. He knocks. "Soonyoung-shi, please don't do this."

He knocks louder this time, and again, Soonyoung doesn't answer. Wonwoo can feel tears rolling down his cheek. "Fuck, Soonyoung. Please open the god damn door." Wonwoo knocks again, but softer now, giving in to the tears on his face. He rests his forehead on the door. He feels a hand on his shoulder, squeezing lightly. He turns and he sees Junhui having small tears at the corner of his eyes. "Leave him alone for now, baby. I'm sure he blames himself for this." Junhui grabs Wonwoo's hand, and he lets their hands intertwine and he follows Wonwoo to the living room. Junhui hugs Wonwoo, his arms around his neck and Wonwoo's head buried on his boyfriend's shoulder.

"He was already so fucking happy." He cries. "Why does this have to happen? I love my best friend so much that it fucking hurts me seeing him like this again." Wonwoo looks at Junhui with blurry eyes. "I can't stand it when he looks like this, and now that he fucking got sexually assaulted, his depression might come back, and it might even make him worse." Wonwoo continues to hug Junhui, tightening his grip on his t-shirt.

Wonwoo hears Soonyoung pounding on his walls, loud and continues, knowing that it will leave his knuckles bruised, and Wonwoo cries some more until Mingyu walks in their flat, panting and sweating.

"Where is he?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Poor Soonyoung :-( i'm sorry if i made your fave go through this and i hope no one will ever experience this jfosmdkvje and ohmygod Wonwoo is such a loving best friend aaahhhdisjxkvjeo


	3. The Sweetness Of You On My Tongue

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Memories come back and it makes Soonyoung feel like shit, but Mingyu understands.
> 
> Aka i still dont know how to write proper summaries

_**Soonyoung** _

  
He didn't realize that he's been curled up on the corner of his room, crying and pounding on the wall. He only notices when he saw a stain of metallic red on his wall. Soonyoung glances on the back of his hand and his skin on his knuckles are starting peel from all the force he's been putting on punching the wall. He briefly looks at the wall and he sees the dent he made.

Soonyoung remembers getting in his room roughly at 9pm. He remembers hearing Wonwoo crying, knocking on the door, but that was the only memory he had before breaking down into a pool of depression and over thinking. It's been a habit of his, anxiety crawling up his throat ever since he was young. Actually, it's more of a routine. He expects it to come every time he fucks something up. He thinks it's from the lonely life he lived, having his parents divorce when he was 15, and being left alone at home, silent and lonely. He never really admitted he had depression; it was a big word, and the meaning of it is far more perplexed than the dictionary meaning, but he knew it was there. He never really bothered asking for help because all his life he managed all by himself; alone.

His best friend knew better. Wonwoo knew about his depression even after multiple times of denial. That's why he thinks that Wonwoo's too good for him, but Wonwoo never leaves, even goes to the extent of staying when Soonyoung was going through one of his episodes.

Soonyoung reaches for his phone that was on top of his bedside table. He turns it on and glances at the time; 8:34am. He hasn't slept, hasn't eaten, and hasn't gone out of his room. He actually doesn't have the energy to stand, his legs too tired too move. He doesn't remember why his legs was trembling, but he wills himself because of the hunger he was feeling.

He walks towards his door and unlocks it. He swings the door open and he sees a sleeping Mingyu by his door. Soonyoung stares at his boyfriend, shocked. Mingyu shakes his head awake, and when he locks eyes with Soonyoung, he quickly stands up and run towards Soonyoung, grabbing him by the wrist to hug him tightly.

_Hey, Soonyoung! Still a slut, huh?_

Soonyoung felt his skin go cold even when warm arms envelope him. His head was spinning and images of last night comes rushing to his head. He couldn't breath, so his breathing comes out erratic and short, mostly choking his throat. He his hands were shaking, curling up into a ball and gripping tightly, making his knuckles turn white and leaving crescent shaped marks on his already pale skin.

_Aw, c'mon. Give us a good time. I thought you loved having sex with strangers?_

Unfamiliar hands start ghosting around his waist and he starts to gag, choking on his breath and his lungs on the verge of panic. Mingyu asks him something, but he can't hear from all the screaming.

_Stop resisting, can you? Oh, you say you have a boyfriend? Bullshit. No one can love a whore._

Soonyoung was the one screaming, he realizes when Wonwoo and Junhui comes out of Wonwoo's room, panic showing in their faces. They we're looking at him, hesitating to come closer. Mingyu holds Soonyoung by the shoulders, and he can feel it burning his skin painfully. Soonyoung pulls away, and Mingyu face falls.

_Hey, moan for us. I heard you moan like a porn star._

Soonyoung eyes his boyfriend, his chest heaving and his breath coming out erratic and short. He didn't realize that he was on the floor, his knees hitting the carpet, and his hands gripping his shirt.

"Don't touch me!" He hears himself say, but he doesnt recognize the voice.

Soonyoung struggles to stand, but when he does, he quickly runs to his room and locks it again. He leans his back by the door and tries to ease his breathing. His hands crawled up his skin, his nails scratching his skin harshly. The door shakes, and there was rapid knocking, but he ignores it.

"Babe, please open up. Please Soonyoung, talk to me." Soonyoung can hear the choked up sobs Mingyu was making, and Soonyoung just wants to kiss the tears away, but the ghost grips on his skin makes him want to vomit. There were hands all over him even though he doesn't have anyone near him. He cries himself until he can feel his skin sink, and he drifts to sleep, the tiredness of his eyes taking over him.

**_ Mingyu _ **

  
Mingyu stayed by Soonyoung's door after his panic attack. Wonwoo explained to him how his boyfriend was; the depressive episodes and anxiety attacks every time he fucks up, exact words coming out from his mouth, and it was painful. Wonwoo also explained why he avoided any commitment, and while Wonwoo explained, his heart sank lower, feeling pity for his lover. "He never told me." He said in a sad tone.

"It's okay. You two just started dating. But it's better if you knew now so that you know what to do." Jun said beside Wonwoo, his arm around his lover's shoulders.

Mingyu sighs and looks back at Soonyoung's door. It's already 4 in the afternoon, and his lover never came out. Mingyu knows Soonyoung must be hungry since he loves eating all the time, and he hasn't had his coffee fix so he must feel groggy and tired. Mingyu can't help but worry, standing up from where he sat and walked to the door. He leaned his forehead by the door, and knocked softly, hopefully, encouraging Soonyoung to come out.

"Baby? Hey it's the afternoon already, you need to eat. You haven't eaten since yesterday." Mingyu said softly, his eyes closed, hoping, but no answer.

"Babe, Soonyoung, I love you so much, and i want you to eat. You're going to get sick like this. Please."

Mingyu was about to tear away from the door when he hears shuffling from the other side. "I love you too, Mingyu." He hears Soonyoung, muffled by the door between them, as if a whisper. The door unlocks and Soonyoung opens the door. His lover looks tired, heavy eyes and dark circles, his cheeks slightly hallow, pale skin, and his knuckles decorated with bruises and fresh wounds. Mingyu wants to hold him, but he's afraid that Soonyoung would panic again, so he keeps his hands on his sides, resisting.

"I'll cook us something and I'll brew up some coffee for us, okay?" He wills himself to look at Soonyoung's tired eyes. The word 'us' lightens the mood on his lovers face, as if being alone is something he hates. Mingyu starts walking towards the kitchen, and he feels a tug at the back of his shirt. Mingyu turns his head and sees Soonyoung pulling his shirt and looking at Mingyu with wide eyes. "Don't leave me."

Mingyu's heart almost broke. He turns to face Soonyoung and takes his hand to intertwine it together. "I'm never leaving you, Soonyoung. Now, c'mon, let's go eat, yeah?" Mingyu smiles at his lover lovingly, and Soonyoung returns the smile with a soft one, and nods. They walk together to the kitchen, Junhui and Wonwoo giving them a shocked expression from the living room when they emerge from the corridor, but they eventually smile in triumph because they managed to bring Soonyoung out.

Soonyoung sits at the island table in the middle of the kitchen and watches Mingyu do his thing. Good thing Wonwoo went out this morning to bring home groceries, or else they would be stuck with cup noodles and bread. Mingyu cooks up one of Soonyoung's favorites, Japanese Katsudon, and starts brewing coffee at their coffee maker. When Mingyu puts down the large bowl of Katsudon (more rice than usual), Soonyoung eyes widen and his smile stretches until his ears. Mingyu smiles at his lover, thanking any god out there that finally, Soonyoung is smiling.

Mingyu gives Soonyoung his utensils, then leans his back on the kitchen counter, bowl in hand, and Soonyoung doesn't hesitate to dig in. Three scoops later, Soonyoung looks up and notices that Mingyu has his own bowl but it's untouched and rather Mingyu is still looking at Soonyoung. "If you're not going to eat, might as well just give it to me. The katsudon gods will be sad if you're just gonna leave it alone." Soonyoung jokes and his smile grows wider, and they both laugh. The kitchen was finally filled with laughter. Mingyu eventually gives in, noticing his hunger when Soonyoung was already half way digging through his bowl.

They finish lunch (and also last night's dinner, and breakfast), and down their coffee in one go. Soonyoung suggests to play Monopoly at the living room with Wonwoo and Junhui, and the couple agrees, freeing all their plans for the next few hours. Four hours through the game, Wonwoo ends up bankrupt courtesy of Junhui, Mingyu is stuck in jail, and Soonyoung is winning (and they made him win, because he deserves it.) They wrapped up the Monopoly, and Soonyoung wanted to play Just Dance since it's been a long time since they used their game consoles. An hour later, Wonwoo's beating Junhui at One Direction's "What Makes You Beautiful", and Soonyoung is forcefully pushing Mingyu aside so that he wasn't detected by the censors and wins at Lady Gaga's "Applause." They have dinner, courtesy of Mingyu, and Wonwoo announces that he'll walk Junhui home, also explaining "I might not get home tonight because Jun's been groping my ass ever since we started playing Just Dance. This ass is about to get some dick, y'all." And they laugh. Soonyoung watches Wonwoo and Junhui go out of the flat, and Mingyu is fixing up the plates.

When he finishes, he walks towards Soonyoung, quickly intertwines their hands together, and Mingyu kisses Soonyoung at the cheek. Soonyoung turns and steps back from Mingyu. "I won't touch you anywhere else than your hands and kiss your cheek until you tell me its okay, Soonyoung." His lover relaxes, and squeezes their hands together.

Mingyu can feel his skin melt with Soonyoung, and his heart races. He wants to kiss all his lover's worries away, but he hesitates, and that's okay. Mingyu is willing to wait for Soonyoung until he is ready to open up to him, even if it takes him forever, because that's how much Soonyoung means to him. Their eyes meet, and they stare at each other for a little bit longer. "I love you, Mingyu. And thank you." Soonyoung says, and he thinks he sees stars in his lover's eyes, hovering over his irises, glossy and beautiful. Mingyu falls in love all over again.

* * *

 

They're finally fresh out of the bath, Soonyoung dressed in his favorite baggy sweatpants and white shirt, Mingyu borrowing Soonyoung's boxers and hoodie, and they lie down next to each other on Soonyoung's bed. Mingyu kept his distance, a fair 4 inches apart, but still close enough that their hands, Mingyu's clammy hands and Soonyoung's bandage-covered hands, are brushing against each other. Mingyu thinks Soonyoung notices that the younger was hesitating to come closer, because he's scooting his whole body closer to Mingyu, their ankles touching and their hips grazing.

"Can we cuddle, babe?" Soonyoung asks shyly.

Mingyu looks at Soonyoung and his lover was already staring at him, expecting. "Of course, baby." Mingyu opens up his arms and Soonyoung moves. His lover lies his head on top of Mingyu left arm, wrapping his arms around Mingyu's torso, their legs intertwining under the sheets, and Mingyu's arms finally wrapping around Soonyoung. His lover tucks his head under Mingyu's chin and Mingyu can smell Soonyoung's swwet fragrant if his shampoo. Mingyu leans down to kiss Soonyoung's forehead, and his lover hums, further burrying his head on Mingyu's chest.

"I won't rush you, but you have to tell me what's on your mind, ok?" Mingyu said in between Soonyoung's hair, his breath brushing through his blonde hair.

"I think i need help." Soonyoung lifts his head to meet Mingyu's eyes.

"Help?"

"Therapy. I know Wonwoo told you about my depression and my panic attacks. And i know i haven't really mentioned about the..." Soonyoung can feel bile rush to his throat but he swallows. "The... You know... Assault from last night. I think i need help. Wait no... I know i need help."

Mingyu reaches his hand for Soonyoung's cheeks, wiping away the small tears from his eyes. "You don't have to force yourself to say it, baby. I understand. And I'll be here to support you. I want to be there for you no matter what."

Soonyoung closes his eyes and smiles. "I love you, Mingyu."

Mingyu pulls Soonyoung closer to his body. "I love you, too."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Damn x2. Ok guys y'all need to realize, this is the reality of having mental illness and having a traumatizing event happen to you. Panic attacks are the worst, and having mental illness is hell, so if you even have a friend who goes through the same shit, please understand them and be patient. And if you're going through this, don't forget that you are loved and are people who are willing to listen to you so don't hesitate to find help !!! 
> 
> Chapter 4 is finished and its mostly fluff and an angst cliffhanger at the end. Haha sorry


	4. I Breathed You In; You Filled My Lungs

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mingyu and Soonyoung talks, and you know the drill. Ugh im sick of writing shitty chapter summaries fkwkskofke

**_ Mingyu _ **

It's been 3 weeks ever since the start of Soonyoung's therapy sessions. His doctor, rather reliable and also very friendly, diagnosed him with severe depression, which wasn't that surprising to Soonyoung. He was ordered to drink anti-depressants everyday, and Soonyoung hesitated, but Mingyu insisted, so Soonyoung gives in. Soonyoung would sometimes complain that he gets frequent headaches, and Mingyu notices that he eats less now, having not much of an appetite. The doctor said it was a mere side effect and it will eventually go away.

Mingyu doesn't exactly know what Soonyoung and his doctor talk about during their sessions. The younger would sometimes ask, and Soonyoung would either answer "the usual", "she asked me how i was recently", and "i talked about you and how much i love you." Mingyu loves the thought that Soonyoung talking about him and their relationship during their sessions, but his lover doesn't seem to dig into details anymore with Mingyu, which makes him sad; he just wants Soonyoung to open up to him. But he doesn't dwell on it that much because he promised that he'll wait, no matter how long it takes.

Mingyu accompanied Soonyoung to one of his dance classes, just watching Soonyoung teach 10 year olds how to ballet properly in tights and a skin toned leotards makes him want to kiss Soonyoung's nose, and maybe his eyelids, the space between Soonyoung's eyebrows, his forehead, and his lips. It was endearing to see his lover interact with children, maybe because he imagines Soonyoung having a child with him, his finger being wrapped around small fingers, carrying a mini-Kwon, energetic like his father.

Mingyu imagines a home safe from all dangers and sadness with Soonyoung and a baby boy. Maybe they can adopt, a cute child that will fill the gaps of their house. Mingyu could bake the baby boy cookies that he can bring and share in school, and Soonyoung would bring him there. Then when they're all at home, they would have a small pillow fight at their living room, and eventually retreat to their shared bedroom with their baby boy wrapped in a panda onesie Soonyoung chose. And they can go out, all three of them, on valentines day, have the child and Soonyoung wear matching pastel flower crowns. They could go to a water park with uncle Wonwoo and uncle Junhui, and maybe they would have their own child too, having mini-Kwon and mini-Wen play at the kiddie pool.

The thought was exciting, making Mingyu's heart pound in his chest. A life with Soonyoung makes his skin warm from the happiness bubbling inside of him. He smiles at Soonyoung, and his lover turns, and smiles back, lovingly and sweet.

* * *

 

They get dinner outside, a burger place they once went to months before they dated. They decided to just share one basket of fries, but Soonyoung ended up eating almost all of it, having Mingyu only get a handful. They talk with greasy hands and ketchup all over their plates, and a lot of laughter shared at the table. Mingyu couldn't help but mention his thoughts from a few hours ago, hoping that it excites his lover too.

"Baby, have you ever thought of starting a family with me?" Mingyu says over his burger, and Soonyoung chokes at his fries.

"Wha—, wait, what?" Soonyoung says, reaching for his glass of water.

"I plan on getting married to you and starting a family with you. Have you ever thought about it? Because I have. We can adopt. Many gay couples adopt these days."

Soonyoung stares at Mingyu with wide eyes. "I mean... We could. But isn't it too early to think about this? I'm only on my junior year, and you're only on your sophomore year."

"I just thought about it you know." Mingyu took the chance to grab 3 pieces of fries and shoves it in his mouth. "I love you enough that i would marry you, and even take care of a mini-Kwon." Mingyu smiles when he hears Soonyoung laugh. But after a few breaths, his lovers face falls, his eyes downcast and not looking at Mingyu. Mingyu's smile falls too when he sees Soonyoung sigh. "What's wrong?"

"I... I don't know, Mingyu. I don't know if I'm enough for you. You deserve someone better, someone who's good looking and doesn't need to take therapy every two times a week." Soonyoung looks at Mingyu with sad eyes. "I don't want you to keep on taking care of me when i can't even take care of myself."

Mingyu tries to reach his hands to hold Soonyoung's, but he moves away. Mingyu just continues to look at him. "Soonyoung, you're perfectly enough for me. I don't mind taking care of you and bringing you to your therapist. I love you." Mingyu says, but Soonyoung only hums.

They finish their dinner in silence, Mingyu paying for their dinner, and walking out with distance between them. Mingyu doesn't force himself into Soonyoung, because he doesn't want to push him. He just wants his lover to be comfortable with him, so he waits. He waits for their fingers to brush, their elbows grazing on each other, but it never comes. They arrive at Soonyoung and Wonwoo's flat, and they never made physical contact. They freshen up seperately, Mingyu's toothbrush resting in the bathroom. (He notices small things that he left in his lover's apartment, indicating how much time he spends there. He has his own mug designated just for him, his face wash on the bathroom cabinet, and some clothes in their laundry hamper.)

Mingyu finishes up, and walks inside Soonyoung's room but stops at the edge of the bed. Soonyoung is lying down on his side, his arm under his head and his eyes staring at the wall. "Baby, I'll sleep at the couch, okay?" Mingyu says softly, and Soonyoung only nods, closing his eyes. Mingyu walks to the bedside table to switch on the lamp (recently, Soonyoung sleeps better with a night light on), and turns off the main light of the room, closing the door slightly behind him, only an inch open. Mingyu walks to the couch, a blanket resting on the arm rest, and he slumps himself on the couch, relaxing. He hears Junhui come out of Wonwoo's room, and he turns his head to him. "Wonwoo's asleep. How's Soonyoung?" Junhui walks towards him and sits beside the younger.

Mingyu sighs a breath he didn't know he was keeping in. "He was okay awhile ago. But when dinner came, at first we were laughing, then i mentioned starting a family with him, because why not, I love him a lot anyways; It's obvious that I would marry him." He pauses to catch his breath. "And then he starts rambling about him not being enough for me and that i should find someone better. I felt so sad, hyung. I love him so much that i would walk for miles just to see him, and he thinks that taking care of him is a hassle." Mingyu buries his face in his hands. Junhui pats his back and continues to look forward.

"It's not your fault, neither Soonyoung's. It's just that... You know he blames himself for being assaulted." Mingyu nods even though he knows Junhui isn't looking. "He blames himself that he made a reputation of himself fooling around to the point that no one believes him whenever he says he is dating you. He blames himself for a lot of things, that's why he's reacting like this. He thinks that he doesn't deserve such a kind person like you to love him. So please, Mingyu. I have known Soonyoung ever since we were freshman, and we even belong to the same circle of friends. Please don't give up on him." He feels another pat on his shoulder, he turns his head towards Junhui, but the older was already halfway through the corridor, walking towards Wonwoo's room. The door closes shut with a click and Mingyu was left alone.

"I won't." Mingyu says for no one to hear but himself, but he still says it.

**_ Soonyoung _ **

He stays awake hearing Mingyu's conversation with Junhui. He thinks that Junhui knows too much of Soonyoung, but he's too tired to bother complaining. His room was too quiet. He can hear his own breathing, his heartbeat thumping on his chest. But he can also hear Mingyu's snoring from the living room. He wills himself to sit up and swing his legs off the bed. He walks slowly to his door, fearing to make a sound. He opens the door, and the door makes a loud creek, and Soonyoung grimaces. Soonyoung's glad that his lover is a heavy sleeper, or else he would wake his lover up.

Soonyoung walks out of his room, standing at the corridor and leans on the wall. He can see Mingyu sleeping peacefully on their living room couch from where he was standing. He thinks about what Mingyu said during dinner; the family, a mini-Kwon, getting married. Honestly, It makes Soonyoung excited on what's to come. He imagines a gold band that rests on his ring finger, mirroring his lover's own hand. He imagines a wedding; Mingyu looking dashing with a white tailored suit, walking down the isle towards him. He imagines amazing sex in their own house that they bought with their own money; sex on the kitchen counter, on the living room carpet, on the steps of the stairs, on the bathroom sink, and even on front of a mirror.

But then, Soonyoung suddenly imagines all of these, but Mingyu with another—a woman as beautiful as the stars or a man as handsome as blooming flowers. His skin goes cold when images of Mingyu with somebody else flows through his head. He imagines Mingyu curled up in bed with another, he imagines his lover having amazing sex with another, and Soonyoung can feel tears rolling down his cheek. The images in his head, having Mingyu marry another, seemed a lot better that the images of him and Soonyoung. He thinks that Mingyu looks better with another, not with Soonyoung who can't keep up with his own mental illness. He thinks that Mingyu looks better with a pure human to love, than a filthy Soonyoung. Then he imagines hands on his body, grips tight and bruising, words like 'slut' and 'whore' in his head.

Echoes of that night still haunts him, and it haunts Mingyu, too. And maybe, Soonyoung does blame himself for all of this. He blames himself for always walking out of a club with someone new in his arms. He blames himself for always waking up in an unfamiliar bed, in an unfamiliar street, his eyes squinting and his ass hurting. He blames himself for lonely pondering and speeches alone with the moon. At this point, he hates himself enough that his skin doesn't feel like his own; his fingers touching but not exactly feeling, his smile stretching but mere phantom of an emotion; he feels empty, and Mingyu is the only thing that makes him feel whole. But deep inside himself, the emptiness in his chest eventually will empty Mingyu until there's nothing left to give.

So Soonyoung thinks, and he thinks some more while he looks at his lover, then he moves, running back to his room, grabbing a bag and stuffing valuables: spare clothes, his wallet, keys, cellphone charger, and cellphone. He runs back to the corridor, looking at Mingyu's sleeping figure. He runs to the kitchen, grabbing a paper and pen, and writing "Don't worry about me. And I'm sorry, Mingyu." He leaves it on top of the kitchen counter, and runs to their front door. Soonyoung looks at Mingyu one last time, and leaves the flat in haste, closing the door behind him. He walks through the empty corridor, his eyes blurry from tears.

"I'm sorry." He whispers to himself, voice tired and hoarse.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oops, i did it again.


	5. A Bitter Taste, Surrender Waste, Another Weakness

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Reunions and alot of kisses

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Took me awhile to finish this l o l enjoy the slight fluff ending

**_Wonwoo_**  
—It's been 4 days ever since Soonyoung left home. He has seen Mingyu crash into a sobbing mess in the middle of their flat with the note on his hand. He watched Junhui call Soonyoung's number, but after more than 20 attempts, it always ends in voice mail. Wonwoo's chest is filled with worry because his best friend has never done this, always ending up locking himself in his room than running.

His best friend's room looked like a mess, maybe because of how Soonyoung was rushing to pack his things in haste, throwing cabinets open, not even bothering to close it. Wonwoo guessed that Soonyoung leaves in haste so that he doesn't try to change his own mind.

The three of them ask everyone they know. He asked almost everyone Mingyu, Junhui, and himself would know. He asked his friends, Mingyu's friends, Junhui's friends, and the friends of their friends. On the second night, Wonwoo calls Soonyoung's parents, being greeted by a mother he hasn't seen in so many years, and his father with another family. He asks the same question: "Do you know where Soonyoung is?" And its always the same answer: a well resounding "no." On the third day, he calls his own parents because he remember Soonyoung loving his mother's cooking and loved staying at his place just to see his mother's eyes (Soonyoung once said that Wonwoo's mother was also his mother, because his own biological mother never really cooked for him.) and when he gets an answer, a gasp comes first before the no, unlike Soonyoung's mother.

Mingyu has been going around places he thinks Soonyoung would go to, places that he thinks holds sentimental value to his lover, and watching Mingyu search for his lover made Wonwoo's heart ache. He feels sad for his younger friend, but he also feels grateful because he can see how determined he is, and it makes Wonwoo think that Mingyu does love Soonyoung with all his heart and he would gladly give Soonyoung all of his blessings.

Mingyu, Wonwoo and Junhui eats lunch together at a near by fast food chain after a grueling morning of searching for his best friend. They have asked every restaurant, retail store, and shops if they have seen Soonyoung while showing a rather handsome pictures of him. Wonwoo smiles at the pictures because it's one of the pictures that was taken after he started dating Mingyu, maybe just 2 weeks into the relationship, but he can see the visible changes; Soonyoung's cheeks more puffy and soft, no more dark circles and droopy eyes, skin more colored with blushes of red, and smile more genuine. He thinks if Soonyoung would see the three of them using this picture, he would laugh and say "Thanks for using a handsome picture of me. I have always known you see me as hotshot, bff."

The thought makes Wonwoo miss his best friend more. It has only been 4 days but he can already feel a growing gap inside him. He has always been constantly with the other, inseparable and loyal. They have always have been together; always planning lunch together, inviting each other to their friend's parties, going out on platonic dates and just fooling around at a near by playground. It makes Wonwoo feel so empty now that Soonyoung left the flat that they shared empty. He knows that Junhui and Mingyu has been there, but it doesnt feel right. The curtains feels too obnoxious, the walls feel too cramped, the floor feels like its falling under him, and the silence is more deafening. Soonyoung's absence disrupted the peace on the small flat.

They eat in silence, Junhui sometimes engage small talk to their younger friend just to ease up the tension that he built for the past few days. It slightly improves Mingyu's mood, but worry is still shown in his face, and Wonwoo just leaves him be, letting the younger man worry because he would just be called a hypocrite if he did.

Wonwoo looks at his lover when he finishes his plate and moves it aside. "Baby, are you sure you called everyone that is in your contacts?" He says, sipping on his glass after.

"Yeah, I'm sure. Want to go through my phone yourself in case i missed someone Soonyoung may know? But we do have the same circle of friends, so i dont know about that." Junhui takes a bite from his pasta, then when he starts chewing, he grabs his phone from his back pocket and passes it to his lover. From the corner of his view, he can see Mingyu eating his food while looking in the distance, his eyes downcast and empty.

Wonwoo reaches for the phone and goes through the contacts. He reads every name, from a to z, twice even, and he feels like someone is missing. He goes through it again and a certain name pops up in his head. He tries to search for it, scrolling through the phone, and realizes that the name wasn't there. He stops and stares at the screen, then looks at his lover.

"Jun, don't you have Jihoon's number?"

Junhui stops mid-bite and stares at Wonwoo for a good five seconds then goes wide eyed. "Oh shit. I don't. Right, he broke his phone so he needed to get a new number? He didn't really contact me or informed me. Do you think... Soonyoung's at his place?" Junhui says with mouth full of food. Mingyu stares at both of them when he heard Soonyoung's name, as if getting knocked out of his trance.

Wonwoo gives Junhui's phone back and grabs for his own, searching through his contacts for the name Jihoon. When he finally finds it, he quickly pressed the call button. The phone starts rining, and after three rings, Jihoon answer. He looks at Mingyu and the younger is staring back, ignoring his half eaten food.

" _Hello?_ "

"Jihoon!"

" _Yeah, Wonwoo, What's up?"_ Wonwoo notices that his voice was rather quiet and hushed.

"Is Soonyoung with you?"

The other line goes quiet, then Wonwoo hears footsteps, a door closing, and a sigh. " _Yeah_." Jihoon's voice was now louder. " _He's sleeping in my room right now. He's been here for four days, Wonwoo_."

Wonwoo faces Mingyu and the younger looks like he's about to run for it.

"How is he?"

Jihoon sighs at the other line and Wonwoo imagines him massaging his forehead with his fingers. " _He came to me at four in the morning. Good thing i was awake composing some songs on my violin, or else he would be sleeping outside until i actually came out for breakfast. When i opened the door, he was crying. Wonwoo, his eyes were bloodshot_." Wonwoo could hear Jihoon swallow a cry. " _Fuck Wonwoo, he looked so—so... Tired. I thought he looked tired when we dated, but seeing him again after almost a year of not seeing each other, man... That night, he looked so different. Although he did look chubbier than usual, which I'm glad because—he used to not eat a lot before._ "

Junhui and Mingyu quickly finishes their plates and fishes out for a waiter to check out their bill. Wonwoo sighs into the phone. "Did he tell you anything, Ji?"

" _He told me everything, Wonwoo. Is it true he got... Assaulted_?" The word always seemed to give Wonwoo a bitter taste in his mouth and he just wants to vomit it out.

"Yeah. Junhui and I were the one's who saw him and rescued him before anything worse happened. But he's traumatized."

" _I could see that. But he never really told me why he left your apartment_."

Junhui hands the waiter their bill back with cash in it and quickly stands up. He hears his lover say 'keep the change' to their waiter, and the waiter bows and leaves. Mingyu stands up next, watching and waiting for Wonwoo to finish their conversation; the sooner this call ends, the faster he would see his lover again.

"It's a long story, Jihoon. Is it alright if we drop by and maybe get Soonyoung? Junhui, Soonyoung's boyfriend, and I have been on edge. Maybe i could even explain everything when we meet."

" _Boyfriend? Wow. A lot of things have changed the past few months. Of course, Wonwoo. Should i tell him?_ "

He looks at Mingyu and Junhui for a fleeting second. "No. He might try to run away again. I'll see you in 30 minutes, Jihoon. And thank you for taking care of him."

" _See you, Wonwoo._ "

 ** _SOONYOUNG_**  
—Soonyoung woke up hearing a group of voices from Jihoon's living room. He guesses its his orchestra friends, but then he hears a familiar voice, a voice he has been longing to hear. It's been so long ever since he heard this voice, feeling like its been four years, not four days. Soonyoung swings his legs off and quickly stands to reach for the door. He swings the door open, a loud creak of wood emitting from it, and all the heads from the living room turns to his direction.

The first person he sees was Wonwoo, his red maroon shirt having bleach stains and his hair disheveled and messy reminds Soonyoung of the nights Wonwoo would comfort him at three in the morning while deep inside he's stressed too in his behalf. He eyes Junhui, his hair more fixed than his lover but he looked as equally stressed as the latter. Then he eyes Jihoon, his past lover and a good friend. He's been taking care of him, even willing to bring him to his therapist the other day. Soonyoung thinks that Jihoon is sweet and kind hearted, but if he says it out loud, he would be kicked out without hesitation.

Then he locks eyes with Mingyu. His lover looked as disheveled as Soonyoung is, his eyes we're more sunken and he looked rather thinner compared to a few days ago. Mingyu was wearing Soonyoung's grey sweater, the same sweater that Soonyoung wore when they first had dinner together all those months ago.

In what felt like a forever of eye staring, Soonyoung didn't realized that Mingyu rushed over to him and wrapped his warm arms around him, his eyes flowing with tears because he missed this, he missed being held, he missed feeling safe. He couldn't help but sob on his lover's arms, gripping the othe's shirt tightly. He hears Wonwoo whisper a low 'let's go', and three pairs of feet walk out of the apartment without talking to leave space for the couple. Soonyoung was thankful that him and Mingyu can have some time alone to talk things through.

They hold on each other tightly, as if if one of them we're to loosen, the other would fly away, so they hold on each other for dear life. Soonyoung and Mingyu's heart beat's we're on sync after so long, their skin mixing on each other, the heat melting. The both of them didn't want to let go, and they didn't mind holding on each other. Soonyoung's head was buried underneath his lover's chin, letting the other rest his head on top. He felt safe, but he also felt stars exploding into supernovas are happening between them, a clash of feelings and emotions. It was overwhelming; what felt like forever in a span of four days took a toll on the couple. But Soonyoung can still feel the love Mingyu is radiating, as if he has never left the other.

They separate but the imprints of their bodies are still the same, the creases of their thumb marks still burning their skin. Soonyoung raises his head to meet his lover's lovely eyes. Mingyu smiles at Soonyoung softly. "I missed you." Mingyu said, soft and low, the vibrations making Soonyoung want to bury himself through Mingyu's skin.

"I missed you, too. I'm sorry i left. I just— I looked at you a-and"

He feels lips on his and he melts. He can feel fingers brush through his hair and a hand at the small of his back, and it just makes Soonyoung want more. Mingyu moves away and Soonyoung tries to catch those lips again but his lover was too tall.

"Why did you go, baby? I was so worried." Mingyu tries to say it in a steady tone, but his eyes falter, tears slowly rolling down his cheeks. Soonyoung reaches for the expanse of soft skin and wipes it away with his thumb, soft and reassuring.

"I'm sorry."

"I know you are, and i forgive you. But why?"

Soonyoung swallows a breath. "It's just... The things you said, it made me so happy. I looked at you sleeping, and I imagined us getting married and all that jazz—" Mingyu chuckles at the word and Soonyoung gives him a smile. "But then, I suddenly imagined it but you with another person, maybe someone really beautiful and better than me, and i just panicked. I had so much anxiety in me, I had to run away." Soonyoung can feel some tears drop from his jaw to his neck. "I'm sorry, but I just needed to think. The first person i thought of was Jihoon, so i came here and i told him everything, and he held me and listened to me and—" He knew he started to ramble but he continues, taking a deep breath. "He told me that i shouldn't be afraid and i should just let you love me. But i couldn't really help see you with another who is better than me in so many ways, and Jihoon hugged me again and he told me that you loved me because I am me and he told me to be myself because that's what you fell for, and— _f-fuck, I love you so much, thank you for loving me despite of what happened, and I'm never running away._ " He says those words in a sob and he's being held again, tighter this time.

Mingyu holds Soonyoung's head reassuringly, while the other hand rubs small circles around the small of his back. "Sshh baby, don't cry, please." Soonyoung can hear Mingyu's breathing, and he relaxes. "Jihoon's right, i fell for who you really are. So please don't say that you're not good enough." Mingyu removes his hand from the back of his lover's neck and holds his jaw. "All of you is perfect to me. You just don't know the things you do to my heart whenever you do what you do. Even smiling makes my heart burst into fireworks. _Fuck— Soonyoung_. I love you so much." And with the confession, Mingyu pulls his lover for a kiss. It was chaste and soft and everything that Soonyoung has ever wanted.

"I love you, too." Soonyoung says in between kisses, and he melts, further through Mingyu's skin, his voice caught in between lips. They pledge their vows for each other in the mix of their tongue and teeth, and it feels good.

_It feels good to be with you._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> NEXT CHAPTER WILL BE SMUTTY HE HE HE (maybe. I might change my mind lol)


	6. You Got Me Out of My Head, I Fill The Space In Your Bed

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> If true love did exist, it was in the grasps of Mingyu's heart and in the arms of Soonyoung.
> 
> (Basically, they have sex and then fluff)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> SMUT!!!! THEY MAKE LOVE AND ITS SO PURE BUT IT'S YOUR CHOICE IF U WANT TO READ IT AAAAHHH

—It was at this moment that he felt so loved by Mingyu. His hands gripping him softly but safely makes him want to give his all to his lover, but he thinks Soonyoung has given everything. Soonyoung has exposed himself to Mingyu to the deepest depths of his soul, but Mingyu is still here holding him. Soonyoung remembers all those vulnerable nights having anxiety clawing his skin until rigid bones are supporting him, but Mingyu has always been his foundation, and so he let's himself fall into the pure expanse of his lover's heart. It was unbelievable that he has this kind of man to love him unconditionally. He thinks of the good deeds that he might have done during his past life to have been granted this kind of love.

Soonyoung has his legs over Mingyu's, straddling his lap, his lover's hands rubbing at his sides, and they're lips intertwined. Soonyoung has been gripping Mingyu's shoulders, sometimes brushing his hands through the latter's hair, sometimes cupping his jaw, but it's always a result of wanting to be closer. The heat of their bodies together is making Soonyoung feel hazy, his mouth letting Mingyu's tongue evade and explore. They kiss but they don't rush, just relishing on each other's skin, feeling every curve and crease the other has.

Mingyu starts trailing down kisses on Soonyoung's jaw and his mouth falls open to bring a soft moan out. Mingyu's lips on his skin was soft and Soonyoung thinks it's enough. Soonyoung grips his lover's hair, brushing it slightly with his fingers. Soonyoung could hear Mingyu rumble a low moan in his throat and he felt it on his chest when his lover was nibbling on his collar bone. Mingyu now has his hands under Soonyoung's shirt, feeling the heated skin and kneading at it.

Soonyoung looks at his lover and he could see that his gaze was filled with so much love that he can feel it trail down his spine, giving him goosebumps. Mingyu removes Soonyoung's shirt, and Soonyoung returns the favor by removing the lover's shirt too. Soonyoung trails his fingers on Mingyu's chest and he can hear the latter's breathing hitching on his throat. "You look so beautiful, Mingyu." Soonyoung has his hands on Mingyu's chest, and his lover wrapped his arms around Soonyoung's hips.

Mingyu pulls Soonyoung and gently throws him on the bed. His back felt the cold sheets of the bed he has been sleeping in for four days, then it suddenly occur to him that this wasn't his house. "Wait wait, we're in Jihoon's room, Gyu. We can't just do this here." Soonyoung eyes Mingyu's gaze, feeling his lover in between his thighs. The latter laughed softly.

"We won't make a mess. I'll gently make love to you. They won't even notice." Mingyu pecks Soonyoung's lips and he sighs at his mouth.

"I like the sound of you making love to me." Soonyoung smiles in between kisses, and Mingyu laughs, trailing his mouth down his bare chest while he hooks his fingers of his sweatpants. When Mingyu licks at Soonyoung's nipple, he throws his head back, trying to stifle a moan in between his teeth.

Mingyu pulled his sweatpants down with his boxers, and his cock felt the rush of cold around him. Soonyoung has his hands gripping on the sheets as he sees his own cock hard and red. Mingyu caressed the skin around his abdomen, slowly reaching for his lover's length. Soonyoung whines at his teeth. "Please." He's already pleading for friction, his hips involuntarily bucking on Mingyu's fingers.

He felt his lover's hands wrap around his cock and his whole body twitches. "Baby, you look so good like this. Do you like it when i touch you?" He can hear Mingyu's breath near his ear when he says those words. It was hushed, whispering it intimately into his ear. "Yes." He whispers back, and he can feel all of his emotions crowd his chest. It's a whirlwind of pleasure and love that he couldn't help but moan at Mingyu's slow ministrations. If this was another day, he would curse Mingyu for going too slow and teasing him too much, but all he needs right now is reassurance, and Mingyu is already giving it to him without even saying it. Mingyu starts to give, and it makes Soonyoung smile no matter how slow his lover is.

Mingyu starts to stroke Soonyoung, slow and soft. Their foreheads are leaning on each other, their eyes meeting, and he swears he can see stars turning into supernovas in his lover's irises. His eyes was shining and it made everything feel so good. Soonyoung reached his hand for the back Mingyu's neck, and he pulls him closer to kiss. Their kiss was warm and it stirs Soonyoung almost to the edge.

"Fuck, Mingyu, i'm about to— _aaah fuck_." His words came out as a moan but he knows Mingyu understood it.

"It's okay, baby. Tonight is all about you, so cum all you want."

And he's coming, strings of white painting Mingyu's hand and also his stomach, his breath getting caught in his chest, and slurs of his lover's name on his mouth. He's heaving, trying to catch his breath and blink away the high of his orgasm. Mingyu moves away to stand at the side of the bed to discard the rest of his clothes and he eyes his cock, springing up to his abdomen when it was released from its confines. He can feel his mouth water at the sight and his cock twitches again, slowly getting hard even after his orgasm.

Mingyu positions himself back between Soonyoung's legs and he tries to reach out to Mingyu's length, but he stops him. "This isn't about me, baby. I told you, this night is all about you."

Soonyoung didn't notice the sachet of lube in Mingyu's hand until he squeezes a generous amount on his fingers. Soonyoung chuckles. "You came prepared?" He gave Mingyu a wide mischevious smile and he laughs, too. "Hey, anything can happen, okay?"

Mingyu drops his head down to kiss Soonyoung quickly and goes back to work. He can feel cold fingers line up on his entrance and his whole body shivers in anticipation. He grips the sheets, eyeing Mingyu's hands as he enters him slowly with one finger. "Tell me if you're uncomfortable, okay?" Soonyoung nods and he lets his eyes close. Mingyu pushes his finger deeper and Soonyoung pushes back, wanting to feel fuller. "More, Mingyu. _Please_." He breathes as his grip tightens, rumpling the sheets under him.

Mingyu complies to Soonyoung's request, and without even realizing it, two fingers enter him. Soonyoung hisses at the sting, but Mingyu's quickly crooks his fingers to hit his prostate, and Soonyoung moans. Mingyu pulls his fingers back out only to bring it back in, deeper now but still soft and careful. When Soonyoung couldn't help slur his words and moan out his lover's name, Mingyu inserts another finger, and it made Soonyoung rock back to the sensation. Soonyoung lefts his hips to meet the thrusts of Mingyu's fingers, but he still feels empty. He looks at Mingyu and he sees him stare at him with a gaze he never knew existed. It was beautiful, a small smile in his lips but his eyes hazy with lust. His cheeks was tinted pink, and his chest breathing heavily. Soonyoung moans again, and he could see Mingyu's cock twitch.

"Mingyu, make love to me. Please. _I need you inside me_." He says, barely breathing because of how intoxicated he is in Mingyu's gaze.

Mingyu removes his hand from inside of him and rubs his own cock with the remaining lube on his hand. He reaches for the sachet of lube and squeezes out the rest while stroking his cock to spread it. Mingyu lines himself up to Soonyoung's entrance and they both hold their breaths. Mingyu looks up at his lover before entering, and Soonyoung nods, telepathically saying he is ready.

Mingyu enters slowly, Soonyoung's insides twitching at the intrusion. His lover groans when he is fully inside the other, not even sparing an inch, and he moves. It was slow, gentle even when he feels Mingyu rub against his prostate. His arms reach out for Mingyu's body and he leans forward, his lover burying his head on Soonyoung's shoulder.

He can hear Mingyu's low breathing on his neck as they fuck slowly. Soonyoung thinks its not called fucking when it's this intimate. He thinks about 'making love' and he thinks it's this moment. He feels safe and sated, his whole body pliant for his lover that he doesn't mind being made love to with this slow pace. He still felt good, Mingyu hitting the right spot everytime. Soonyoung's arms wrap around Mingyu's torso and his mouth falls open with his name. Their moans mixing together sounded like their vows, promising forever in each other ears. Their names floating around the room, echoing, reminding them that they are here now, together.

Soonyoung didn't even realize that he was on edge when his felt his stomach coil in pleasure, and he starts coming again. He moans Mingyu's name and clenches around the cock that was still inside him. "C'mon, Mingyu. Cum for me." He says and that's what breaks his lover, milking himself inside Soonyoung, softly biting down his shoulder. Soonyoung could feel the load filling his insides, but he doesn't mind because all he can think of was how Mingyu was whispering a low 'i love you' on his chest like a mantra.

Mingyu stops moving, and they're both heaving, catching their breaths. "I love you, too." Soonyoung says in between breaths, and Mingyu chuckles. His lover lifts his head up to meet Soonyoung's eyes. "I didn't mean to say it so loudly. I was actually just saying it in my head." And he was smiling at him, soft and lovely.

"Baby?" Soonyoung says, quiet.

"Yes, baby?" Mingyu brushes the hair that was resting on his lover's forehead away to see his eyes properly.

"I just realized now this is the first time we had sex ever since the incident."

"Oh yeah? Did you like it?"

Soonyoung smiles at Mingyu with so much love. "Yeah. Thank you for being gentle." And Mingyu lays a soft kiss on his lips.

Mingyu pulls out, and grabs for the box of tissues on the desk by the door. He cleans himself up first, then rushes to the bathroom to slightly wet the sheets of tissues and cleans the dry cum on Soonyoung's stomach, then cleans his ass thoroughly. Mingyu grabs his jeans from the floor and rummages through the pockets for his phone. He opens the lock and screen lights up, revealing messages from Wonwoo.

 **Wonu-hyung** > We're out right now, going around the mall. Want anything for dinner?  
**Wonu-hyung** > And also, Jihoon says to please don't fucking let your cum spill on his sheets or else you're all dead to him  
**Wonu-hyung** > Jihoon typed that not me. We're going to watch a movie, so just text me what you want for dinner.

Mingyu laughs putting on his jeans and grabs for his shirt and puts it on. He looks at Soonyoung lying down on the bed. He reaches for Soonyoung's discarded clothes and throws it to him. "Get up, baby, let's make coffee and watch stupid romcoms in the living room." Soonyoung smiles at that, swinging his legs off the bed. When he stands up, his legs falter, his face wincing, making him sit back down on the edge of the bed.

"Fuck, i'm sore." Soonyoung says, eyeing his legs.

Mingyu stands on front of his lover and gets the clothes on Soonyoung's hands. "Let me help you, then." Mingyu helps Soonyoung to his clothes, with difficulty, having to carry his shoulders while he tries his best to endure the pain. When Soonyoung is finally fully clothed, Mingyu wraps one of his arms around Soonyoung back, and his other scooping his legs up, carrying him bridal style. When they reach the bedroom door, he eyes Soonyoung to with an embarrassed smile. "I can't exactly open the door with you on my arms, baby."

Soonyoung scoffs and rolls his eyes. He twists the door nob and opens the door. Mingyu carries Soonyoung to the kitchen, sitting him down on one of the chairs of the kitchen island. Mingyu searches through Jihoon's kitchen for two mugs, coffee, milk from the fridge and sugar. When he finds the coffee, he sees the brand and goes wide eyed. "Isn't this the brand that's super expensive?"

He can hear Soonyoung laugh while he stares at the opened can. "Jihoon only wants the best coffee. He works too hard to tolerate cheap 3-in-1 coffee."

"Am I even allowed to drink this?" He looks at Soonyoung with a worried look and he laughs again.

"Of course, baby. He has the money to buy as many cans as he wants."

Mingyu proceeds to brew the coffee, the kitchen smelling like rich luxury that Mingyu thinks he can never achieve. He takes the mugs to the kitchen island as they wait for the coffee.

"By the way, Jihoon threatened us. He says that if we spill our cum in his sheets, we're dead to him."

Soonyoung shivers, his whole body visibly shaking. "Shit. Good thing we were careful."

"Why? Would he actually attack us or something?"

Soonyoung just looked at Mingyu for so long that it would make it feel threatening and scary. "We'll never know, but let's not try knowing."

The kitchen becomes silent except for the sounds of brewing coffee and the clock ticking by the wall, but then they start laughing again, filling the spaces of the room with their breaths.

When their coffee was finished, Mingyu brings the cups to the living room and sets them down on top of the coffee table, then goes back to Soonyoung just to carry him again. Mingyu walks to the living room, sits on the couch, letting Soonyoung sit on his lap, and finally turns on the tv. They go through various romcoms in netflix, and after a heated debate, they end up watching "The Map to El Dorado" because romcoms just makes Soonyoung cry and his eyes are already puffy from all the crying. Twenty minutes through the movie, Mingyu gets a text from Wonwoo.

 **Wonu-hyun** g > Don't tell me you're still fucking until now. It's been five hours. Please spare Jihoon's bed.

Soonyoung glances at Mingyu's screen and blushes when he sees the message. "Fuck. They know?"

"I didn't tell them, but i guess Wonwoo just knows you too well."

Soonyoung laughs and buries his head on Mingyu's shoulder. "I should probably reply. What do you want for dinner, baby? They're at the mall right now."

Soonyoung raises his head and hums. "I guess chicken is enough for me." He smiles and continues to watch the movie with much enthusiasm.

  
**You** < Baby wants chicken. Just not spicy. You know him and how he handles spicy food.  
**You** < and excuse u, we didn't do it for five hours ok? It was only two hours and we were careful.

 **Wonu-hyung** > right. Sure. Whatever u say gyu. Whtever floats ur boat  
**Wonu-hyung** > did you guys talk it out and not just have sex?

 **You** < we didn't just have sex, ok? U meanie. Stop fucking assuming. We talked. We're watching el dorado in the living room.

Mingyu glanced at Soonyoung, and he can see the genuine smile in his lover's face. His cheeks are tinted red, his eyes squinted from the laughter that's in his throat, his brows relaxed with no worries, and he may have said this so many times, but he thinks he's falling in love over again. He remembers a year ago when he first laid eyes on Soonyoung; flashing lights and sweaty bodies, but all that he can see is that genuine smile. Thinking about it now, Mingyu thinks he fell for Kwon Soonyoung from just his mouth curling up for him. He remembers the glint of his eyes when they first locked stares, and he thinks that it's most beautiful thing that he has ever crossed upon.

He remembers that night they formally met, his bag being switched with Soonyoung's bag during a late night study session in the library, and they had to awkwardly meet up at 4 in the morning just to retrieve it back. He remembers those nights they would text non-stop then suddenly deciding to go out for pizza. He remembers going to one of Soonyoung's ballet rehearsals for the first time and going to an ice cream parlor after. He remembers all of those times he was with Soonyoung and he doesn't remember a single memory where his heart wasn't racing with the thought of his lover.

He gives out a small laugh and Soonyoung turns to look at Mingyu.

"What's funny?" Soonyoung smiles at him softly, and Mingyu reaches for Soonyoung's puffy cheeks and rubs his thumb on it gently.

"I love you."

Soonyoung scoffs then chuckles, his nose scrunch cutely. "Sap." And he turns his head back to the movie and laughs at the two main characters arguing on front of the big rock.

Mingyu felt his phone vibrate again but the message was from an unknown number. He reads it and finally laughs at Soonyoung's shoulder, feeling his lover's warmth on his cheek.

 **Unknown number** > DONT YOU FUCKING DARE SIT ON MY COUCH BUTT NAKED, KIM MINGYU. PASS THIS ON TO KWON SOONYOUNG, TOO.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Idk how to end this fic but i will end it in a happy note so dont worry :)


	7. High On The Beat Of A Breakdown

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> What felt like forever finally came and he's happy.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We're nearning the end of the story!!!! Chapter after this will be the last then i'll write an epilogue :)

—They talked about the assault that night because Jihoon wanted to know if Soonyoung ever did anything after that fated night. Soonyoung goes cold, having to remember that night gave him a bitter taste in his mouth and Mingyu notices, so he intertwined their hands together, reassuring, as if saying 'it's okay.'

"What? Look, I'm sorry, but you can't just let them roam around the streets like this. They are capable of attacking others, too."

Mingyu looks at Soonyoung and he sees that his lover has his eyes on his knees, his brows furrowed. "I—I just... I dont—“

"Soonyoung, I know it's hard for you, but there will be people who will experience what happened to you if we don't report it soon."

Soonyoung raised his head to look at Jihoon who was across the living, leaning his body on the wall. His arms was wrapped across his chest, face stern and serious. Soonyoung felt small because of how Jihoon was addressing this. He wanted to vomit out the bile that was slowly coming up through his throat, but Soonyoung knows that Jihoon's right (he always is.)

Soonyoung looks at Mingyu and he has his eyes stitched with worry. He eyes his best friend with his lover who was sitting at the dining table and they have that sad face that they always show when they think Soonyoung can't handle it. Soonyoung thinks he can't, but he has to do it. He has to face what happened to him no matter how much anxiety is burning his skin. He has to because he knows he can't run away from it, that he has to face it to move on.

Soonyoung faces Jihoon and nods. "Let's do it. Let's tell the police."

**_ SOONYOUNG _ **   
A year and a half later.

—Finally, the time Soonyoung and his batch has been waiting for—graduation. After four grueling years, he is finally getting out of the university, kicking the doors of college down with his diploma and shouting his curses to the stress of college. He never knew that he would graduate, having to constantly be in shape physically, emotional, and in knowledge with his course. Being a dance major who specializes in ballet is not an easy task, and he's glad he's out of here. He has counted how many point shoes he had to break in the span of 4 years, and he can't even count it in two hands.

Wonwoo was also glad, burning his reports and essays at the apartment balcony, shouting "fuck you shakespeare and your lame ass pining romeo and juliet. I write better stories than you, you fucker." while pointing the finger at the flames. Soonyoung was leaning on the sliding doors, laughing his ass off, and Junhui was chuckling behing him, sporting a can of beer. Junhui was one of the lucky 300 who graduated from his block. He remembers seeing his block getting smaller and smaller through the years; a solid 300 became a 164, and Junhui drank his ass off for being part of the latter. Being a business major (wasn't even his passion, but he wanted make his father happy) wasn't easy, and along side that, needing to fulfill the duties as a heir was a plus to the stress, so he was glad he can finally make paper cranes with all the research papers he had to make.

It was a miracle of some sorts because the three of them got to graduate together. The night of their graduation, they left the batch party their batch representative hosted early to go home to Soonyoung and Wonwoo's flat just to finally forget about college. Mingyu was already there when they got in, along side Jihoon who has finally warmed up to them after so long. Jihoon brought along the rest of their friends; Seungcheol, Junhui's best friend; Jeonghan and Joshua, whom Wonwoo had some classes with and clicked at the first day. Mingyu brought along some of the undergrads from their circle of friends—their reasoning for coming was free drinks and free netflix. Seokmin and Seungkwan, some of Mingyu's willing actors when needed for filming; Minghao, Mingyu's room mate and best friend; Hansol, Jihoon's orchestra-mate who played the cello but clicked with Mingyu because of their taste in music; and their youngest Chan, one of Soonyoung's 'apprentices' who ended up clicking with the others.

The living room was bustling with noise and clinking of glasses that Soonyoung remembers his life a year ago and how all of this started. He remembers all of the events of his not-so-long-ago past and he thinks that he has been the happiest he has ever been, and wouldn't change it for anything. A best friend who doesn't leave, a group of friends who was noisier than a group of children playing, and a lover who's more perfect than any diamond there is. Soonyoung eyed the living room, passing every head and sighs, because he is contented and happy—finally.

* * *

 

The morning after their graduation, Soonyoung has his whole body cuddled up beside Mingyu's, his arm was over his torso, caging him safely. Soonyoung tries to release Mingyu's hold from him, trying to muffle the hunger from his stomach. When Soonyoung was successful, Mingyu stirs but doesn't wake up, so he sighs. He walks to the bedroom door, swings the door open, and was greeted by 9 other bodies who was sleeping in the living room floor, lined up neatly.

The group ended up crashing in their place, not wanting to leave because they started to watch "Stranger Things" at 9 in the evening and they didn't want to stop. They ordered 6 boxes of pizza after the debate and finished the whole series at 4 in morning, not even one soul crashing into sleep because of how invested they were. Wonwoo and Soonyoung ended up having to offer their 4 extra pillows that was on their own beds (because they both like having 4 pillows to sleep in) and offering the throw pillows from the living room couch, and rummaging through their closets for their clean blankets and bed covers.

Soonyoung leans on the the door frame and eyes his friends. Jihoon was wrapped in Seungcheol's arms (they've been dating recently), Jeonghan had his whole body on top of Chan who looked as annoyed at Jeonghan whenever the older teases him. Joshua was cuddled up on Seokmin (they've been crushing in each other ever since), Hansol and Seungkwan was holding hands while they sleep (even in their sleep, they're pda), and Minghao basically stole Seungkwan's pillow and made it his makeshift cuddle buddy.

Soonyoung walks to the kitchen, trying to avoid flailing limbs. When he opens the door to the kitchen, Wonwoo was already standing by the kitchen island with a cup of coffee in his hand. When his best friend spots the latter, he quickly turns to get another mug and pours coffee. "Morning, boy who finally graduated." Wonwoo smiles behind his coffee mug while he hands the other mug to Soonyoung.

"Morning, boy who finally got his diploma with honors. How was your sleep?"

Wonwoo sips on his coffee, his eyes closing in satisfaction. "Wasn't that great since i only had one pillow under my head."

Soonyoung laughs then finally drinks the cup of coffee slowly. "You'll live. Got any plans tonight?"

"None. Just going to finish "How To Get Away With Murder" with Junhui. You?"

"Mingyu and I are going out for lunch then we might go ice skating at the mall." Wonwoo nods and they finish their coffee in silence.

The morning went by rather quickly. Mingyu got up because Hansol woke up getting surprised by Seungkwan's hunger, so Hansol barged in Soonyoung's room noisily just to annoy the other. The others got surprised with the ruckus Hansol was making, while Jihoon eyes him angrily having to wake up way too early. Mingyu prepares breakfast for 13—quickly rushing to the grocery to get boxes of pancake mix, two bottles of pancake syrup, and kilos of bacon. Mingyu cooks up 39 pieces of pancakes, 3 pieces per person, and piled up the bacon in 3 large plates Soonyoung never knew he and Wonwoo owned. They eat around the living room, Hansol blasting Drake's "One Dance" on Soonyoung's speakers, Chan and Soonyoung dancing along to the song, and Jihoon rubbing his eyes while bobbing his head to the beat. They slowly leave their apartment (Soonyoung thinks Mingyu lives in his apartment now even though he's still dorming with Minghao) and they say their good byes. Soonyoung and Mingyu prepare for their date, while Wonwoo and Junhui was finally snuggled up on the living room couch watching HTGAWM.

Soonyoung deliberately chooses the same clothes as the clothes he wore when Mingyu and him confessed to each other that night they made their relationship official. When he turns to his lover, he sees that he too wore the same clothes from that night, and nostalgia creeped in his skin. Mingyu still looked beautiful in the dim yellow light. Soonyoung still looks at Mingyu like a work of art, and he also still thinks his lover was pristine but also imperfect. He has kissed every blemish of Mingyu's skin, but he still has to uncover more secrets under those caverns of nostalgia and memory.

Soonyoung smiles at Mingyu, and when the other notices, he smiles back. "You still looked as beautiful as that night, Mingyu." His lover approaches Soonyoung to wrap an arm around his waist, pulling him closer just to kiss the bridge of his nose.

"Looks like you wore the same clothes as the night we first became official."

"Hey, this was the clothes I wore when we had dinner. We were butt naked when we became official." Soonyoung wraps his arms around Mingyu's neck and he gives his lips a fast kiss before pulling away. Soonyoung turned on his heel to grab for his phone, wallet and keys. "C'mon, let's go. If we go out later than usual, this won't even be called lunch anymore."

They have lunch at that ramen restaurant that Soonyoung frequents. The grandma that owns the place loves Soonyoung, so she always grants him a 50% discount on his bill, sometimes requesting for a short twirl on his toes to show how skilled he is in ballet. They eat their ramen with laughing fits in between slurps of noodles, and there's this sense of familiarity when Soonyoung smiles at him. How their toes touch underneath and how their thighs touch against each other feels like that night, and he remembers all the times that they had this moment.

It felt like it's routine to Mingyu, but it never gets old. He always loved seeing Soonyoung become a mess after a series of laughter, always loved how he tries to gulp down his water while he tries not to laugh, how he tries not to drop their chopsticks when the table vibrated because of their laughter. These were the moments he was thankful that Mingyu has met Soonyoung. There was never a dull moment with him, and it made Mingyu's life rather exciting, like creating a spectrum of color after a long dreaded drought.

* * *

 

Soonyoung and Mingyu decided to just go to the arcade and not waste that much energy in trying to balance yourself in two metal knives underneath your feet. Mingyu got Soonyoung a plush teddy bear from the crane, and Soonyoung bought Mingyu a pokemon cap with his tickets he won from playing basketball. They stay close to each other the whole time, bumping on each other's shoulders and their elbows brushing. Within the arcade lights, Soonyoung and Mingyu glows together, and there's nothing more beautiful that what they have.

They're at their second round on Tekken when Soonyoung receives a text from Wonwoo.

**Thoofid** > Come hime right now. There are police officers here that wants to talk to you.

He hears the game start and Mingyu's mumbling of 'ha! I'll beat you this time' but he doesn't move. Soonyoung's confused as to why there are officers in his apartment. He tries to remember all of the things he has ever done that is remotely illegal, but nothing comes up other than underage drinking.

**You** < What? Why? I didn't do anything wrong, did i?

**Thoofid** > Just come home. They want to talk to you about something. Apparently you're involved.  
 **Thoofid** > i'm kinda sad they wont tell me wtf im your bff 4 life hu do u think i am? A scammer? Warafrik i feel offended.

Soonyoung laughs at his best friend's message. He hears the words 'game over' in the background and he looks away from his phone, realizing he didn't even play the game. He eyes Mingyu and his lover was looking at him with worry.

"Hey baby, you didn't even move. What's up?"

Soonyoung blinked at Mingyu and showed him Wonwoo's messages. "What does Wonwoo-hyung mean? Did you do something bad?" Mingyu gasped dramatically. "Did you sell drugs behind my back? Are you a UFO? Did you like... Like mutate monkeys without the knowledge of the government or something?"

Soonyoung laughs, and Mingyu smiles at him, standing up from his chair. His lover walked towards his back and hugged him from behind. "You don't have to worry much, okay? I know you didn't do anything wrong. Let's go?"

He can feel Mingyu's lips on the crown of his head and leans to the touch. Soonyoung always loved the way Mingyu's touch lingers through his skin, grasping at the seams and reassuring every doubt.

"Let's go."

* * *

 

They enter their apartment and the first thing they notice is the ringing sounds of silence. The tension was sickening and it made the apartment look dull and boring. Soonyoung eyes the living room from the hallway. He sees Wonwoo and Junhui sitting on the couch. His best friend had his arms crossed over his chest and his face evident with stress. Junhui had his hand on his lover's thigh, rubbing soothing circles to calm him down.

Then he sees the two officers sitting at the dining table, one of them had a brown envelope on his hand and the other had a note pad. They both looked impatient, their legs bouncing up and down in the wooden floor, brows furrowed and fingers tapping any surface. When Soonyoung and Mingyu steps into view, everyone present stood up and had their faces lit up and then back to stressed again.

"Good afternoon." He hears Mingyu say in behalf of Soonyoung because he knows he's too shocked to initiate any conversations. "What brings you here in a Saturday afternoon, officers?" Mingyu and Soonyoung walks towards the officers slowly, hesitating. Soonyoung looks at Wonwoo, as if sending telepathic messages. Wonwoo looks at the latter and nods, so Soonyoung gather all his courage and walked closer.

"Are you Kwon Soonyoung?" One of the officers asks Mingyu, but Soonyoung raises his hand before Mingyu could speak.

"That would be me." He says, softer than he expected.

One of the officers gestured them to sit down opposite from them. "Yes. We would like to talk about a report you filed a year and a half ago regarding a sexual assualt that occured in Xstreet, dated 26th of April, year 20XX."

Soonyoung could feel his whole body freeze in mortification. Memories of that night creeps in his head again and he wants to shake it off, but he couldn't move. He wanted to run but his feet felt like lead, and he wants to breath but his lungs felt like it was crumbling on itself. He hands was gripping the seat under him, his knuckles turning white. He swallows a breath, trying to muster up all the energy in him to calm down and talk.

"Ah y-yes, what about it?" It barely comes out but it did and it was choked.

One if the officers opens the brown envelope and brings out 5 pictures of 5 different people, and when he eyes them, his vision is going blurry and he thinks he might faint. He could feel his blood draining out from his system and the room felt colder than usual. He looked at the faces with pure disgust and mortification, his throat wanting throw up every memory of how these faces would look at him with so much lust he didn't want.

"Do you know these men? Do you recognize them?"

Soonyoung thought that he does know these men, and he would like all 5 of them to rot in hell. He doesn't exactly how he feels, but he knows he feels scarred and violated that he feels angry. He tries to move, relaxing his nerves and breathing evenly. Soonyoung reaches out to one of the pictures, his fingers gripping the paper tightly, resisting to burn it into ashes.

"Yeah. They're the one's who... Assaulted me." He hesitated but he did it. It's been almost 2 years, he should be able to say it, accept it, he trusts himself to face it, and so he did, and it felt exhilarating.

"Are you sure that these men are the people who assaulted from your report?"

Soonyoung looks at the officers seriously, trying to make a point. "Yes. I'm sure."

"Okay. Great." One of them says, relief in their voices and their shoulders relaxing. "These men have been assaulting people for the past year and a half, usually striking them at bars and clubs. We've had several reports of them, although yours was the first, and we finally caught them after so long."

Soonyoung could feel his face light up, color coming back to his cheeks. He looks at Mingyu and his lover had a surprised face with a smile, his canine teeth showing.

"We would want you to make a statement in the stands to prove them to be guilty." One of the officers bluntly says, putting back the pictures in the brown envelope.

Soonyoung didn't hesitate, and stood up, determined and happy.

"I'll do it."

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ah yes.


	8. You Caught Me In A Moment Of Redemption

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> An ending we all deserve—A Happy One.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> FINALLY!!! The final chapter is here, and this chapter is kinda short but heck it's still a chapter. But don't fret, i still have an epilogue to write.

**_SOONYOUNG_**  
—He felt his hands tremble and he doesnt know if it's from fear or excitement. Mingyu was holding him tightly, their hands intertwined and melting as they walk through the hall. The marble floor made the click of his shoes echo through the dull walls, and into his anxious mind.

Today's the day, the day they have been waiting for for so long. May justice prevail for Soonyoung and those who fell victim to the actions of horny, violent men. May their minds feel free after a long time of agony and violation. When they declare "guilty" to those 5 men, may their hearts feel relief and comfort in the assurance that they're lovers will love them no matter what, that touch is intimacy and trust, that sex is respect and consent.

They walked through the hall with determination, their heads held high, confident. They open the double doors with hope in their shoulders. Soonyoung's fellow victims sit side by side, holding hands with their loved one's. Mingyu leads Soonyoung, nods with a smile in their faces as they sit beside the others. Soonyoung turns his head to the back, Wonwoo and Junhui mouthing "fighting" with a smile. Soonyoung turns to the other victims, some female, some male, and he feels the familiarity in their presence.

He makes eye contanct with the woman beside her, and they smile at each other, a toothy one. "Hello. Name's Joy." She says, reaching out for a hand shake, and Soonyoung shakes back.

"Ah hi. I'm Soonyoung." He points to his lover. "This is Mingyu, my boyfriend."

Joy smiles at Mingyu, and waves. She gestures to the middle-aged woman beside her. "This is my mother." She says, and her mother smiles at them. "What's your story, Soonyoung?"

"Ah... It was a year and a half ago, apparently i was the first one to report them. I was walking to a restaurant to meet Mingyu... And..." Soonyoung trails off, hesitating. Joy pats his thigh softly, and he relaxes.

"You don't have to, Soonyoung." She smiles. "We'e all here because of one reason."

Soonyoung nods, sighs, and leans closer to Mingyu's side. "Thank you."

"It's been hard for all of us here. But today's the day for the justice we all deserve that has been long due."

Soonyoung could feel Mingyu's lips on his forehead and he melts, relaxing the presence of people who understands.

Minutes pass and a judge comes in the hall. More minutes pass, and the 5 men comes out from the back. Soonyoung could feel his lover's muscle tense, his shoulders stiffening. He holds his hand, rubbing soothing circles on the back side of his palm. Soonyoung eyes the 5 men, making eye contanct with one of them. The man smirks at him, greedy and evil, making Soonyoung's blood boil.

More minutes pass, and the bailiff explains the case, and seconds pass and it starts. Lawyers of the defense side call in witnesses, defending the 5 men that they are not guilty, but obviously they are because of the people Soonyoung is sitting with. Their logic: stupid and has no correlation. The lawyer explains the needs of the human body and its harmones, but it's an obvious cover up for rape culture. The sentences "They were wearing something revealing" "They we're intoxicated" and "They didn't say no" made Soonyoung's head fill with anger. He wanted to shove all of those who defended the 5 men into hell and let them burn into ashes.

More minutes pass, and the other victims had made their statement, hopefully convincing the jury that they were guilty. Soonyoung didn't notice he was spacing out until Mingyu nudges his side with his elbow and whispers "They're calling you to take the stand, baby." Soonyoung walks to the front, says the usual "I will tell the truth and nothing but the truth, so help me God" vow, and sits down. He eyes his lover, giving him hopeful eyes, then he looks at the other victims, sharing a connection he didn't know existed.

The lawyer comes up front and faces Soonyoung. He could feel his nervousness crawl his back but he pushes it aside, determined to give an honest answer. "Soonyoung-shi, where were you headed when the attack happened?"

Soonyoung looks at Mingyu and he fights smiling at him, but fails and smiles anyway. "I was walking to a restaurant to have dinner with my boyfriend." He remembers that night so vividly, his expectation and excitement coming back to him like spring flowers—it always comes, giving life to Soonyoung's chest after a long cold winter.

The lawyer nods. "Did the 5 men rape you? Or did they just threaten you?"

The 'R' word gave him a feeling he cant describe. "They didn't exactly rape me but—"

The lawyer interrupts. "Ah, so they didn't do anything other than touch your clothes?"

Soonyoung could feel his skin go cold. He just felt startled, his words catching on his throat, eyes wide and mouth slightly agape. "But they—"

"So they didn't do anything, basically."

He just stays still, not even breathing anymore, until he sees the lawyer turn on his heel. "That is all, your honor."

Soonyoung looks at one of the men while he stands up from the stand, walking hesitantly. The man locks eyes with Soonyoung and gives him an evil smile. "Still a slut, huh Hoshi?" The man says it louder than expected, and he sees Mingyu stand in anguish. "You fucker! Did you just call my boyfriend a slut?" Mingyu shouts, and Joy tries to calm him down. Mingyu almost tries to approach the man, trying to get passed the barrier but was pulled back by Joy. The judge knocks his gavel loudly. "Order in the court." And Mingyu sits back down. Soonyoung walks towards his lover, sitting down beside him. He sees Mingyu intertwine their hands together but he doesn't feel the touch. His lover turns to him with a worried look. "It's okay, baby. You'll have your justice."

* * *

 

They waited outside the hall for an hour, changing from sitting down and walking around aimlessly to remove the anxiety that was building in his skin. The jury was now deciding if they were guilty, and Soonyoung feels his hope slowly diminish and crumble. That hour passed and Soonyoung noticed the worried looks between Wonwoo and Junhui and how his own lover try to talk to him but hesitates.

The hour passed and everyone was ordered to come back inside the hall. He sits down beside his lover, his leg jumping up and down on the marble floor. Minutes pass and the judge comes in, and everyone goes silent. The lawyers make their final statements, their last convincing sentences. Soonyoung just wanted all of this to finish. He just wants to go back home and eat Mingyu's cooking while watching netflix shows with his best friend. Minutes pass, and the judge calls for the jury foreperson.

"Will the jury foreperson please stand? Has the jury reached a unanimous verdict?"

The jury foreperson stands, hands on front of his stomach. "Yes, your honor." The foreperson handed the verdict to the judge. Soonyoung could see the judge's eyes read through the paper, and then he hands it back to the foreperson.

The foreperson goes back, having his hands on front of his stomach. Soonyoung sees the foreperson breath and it felt like forever. He sees the foreperson blink and he thinks an eternity has passed. Soonyoung held his breath, his hands that was intertwined with Mingyu's was being gripped tight, but he doesn't mind.

"The jury finds the defendant—" And Soonyoung could feel his nerves pumping so much adrenaline through his body that he thinks the next words doesn't seem right, but when it came, it felt _great._

"Guilty."

* * *

 

Soonyoung was cooking some beef when he feels Mingyu's head rest on his shoulder. All 4 of them immediately decided on eating Korean barbecue after the trial, and now they're at their second platter of meat and bowl of rice. Soonyoung stops for a moment before going back to flipping the beef. "What's up, babe?"

Wonwoo was feeding Junhui when he hears Mingyu hum, letting their eyes go back to Soonyoung and Mingyu. "I'm just really happy that those 5 fuckers end up in jail. They deserve it." Wonwoo and Junhui only nods, and Soonyoung kisses Mingyu's forehead.

They go back to eating, their table falling into a comfortable silence. Soonyoung thinks while he's wrapping his beef on the lettuce and feeding himself. Soonyoung thinks that he can finally breath knowing they won't come back for him. Soonyoung thinks that his anxiety will finally run away from him, leaving him alone to enjoy his already perfect life. Soonyoung thinks about how Mingyu stood up from his seat, shouting a 'yes' with the widest smile he only witnesses when they're together. Soonyoung thinks about how Junhui hugged him longer than his own best friend, and how Junhui's hands was chastely rubbing at his back. Soonyoung thinks about how he finally cried tears of joy in Junhui's arms, and Wonwoo just pats his back. Soonyoung thinks, and he thinks that his life can finally be at peace.

Soonyoung was feeding himself some rice when Junhui's phone rings from his pocket. Junhui has both of his hands dirty, and Wonwoo notices, looking at his lovers pocket. "Oh babe, let me get that for you." Wonwoo offers, and Junhui opens his eyes wide in panic.

"Wait, Wonwoo. Don't— It's okay. Wait—"

Wonwoo pushed the phone out and grabs for it, but Soonyoung notices something else falling to the ground. It makes a sound at the wooden floor and Soonyoung could see his best friend stopping to look at the item that was on the floor, phone still ringing on his hand. Junhui wipes his hands on tissue and looks at Wonwoo more panicked than before. The phone stops ringing the table falls silent. Soonyoung could see beads of sweat on Junhui's neck and he thinks it's not from the heat of the grill. "Shit, Wonwoo, I could explain."

Wonwoo reaches down, disappearing under the table only to come back up with small tears in his eyes. When Soonyoung sees the item in Wonwoo's fingers, he gasps.

It was a ring.

He could feel Mingyu stop at the sight, and Soonyoung could feel his heart race for them. Wonwoo looks at his lover, his tears fighting to come out from his eyes. "For how long have you had this in your pocket?"

"I—I... Uhm... Since a year ago?" He says, hesitating.

"What? Are you saying that you've had this since we were juniors?"

"Yes?" Soonyoung could hear the shyness in Junhui's voice.

"Why is it even in your pocket?"

"I just— I didn't want it at home." He paused. "I keep it with me in case I want to... You know... Propose."

Wonwoo has finally let go of the tears in his eyes, and Soonyoung thinks he's crying too because of how happy he is for his best friend. Wonwoo looks back at the ring then back to his boyfriend, swallowing a breath. Junhui takes the ring from Wonwoo, his hands slightly trembling, and pushes his chair back. "Since you've seen it already, I might as well..." Junhui has his left knee on the floor, and he looks at Wonwoo while lifting the ring up and holding Wonwoo's left hand with his free hand. Wonwoo was now sobbing, his breath coming out as occasional hiccups.

"Jeon Wonwoo, it would be such a blessing to spend my whole life with you." Junhui was crying, too. Soonyoung glances at the other tables and he only notices now the number of eyes on them and the growing silence of the restaurant. "Will you marry me?" Junhui says, and Wonwoo doesn't say anything, just nods. The whole restaurant gives them a roar of 'congratulations' and was clapping for them, then they go back to eating. Wonwoo lets his hand be held by his lover, and Junhui slips the ring on his ring finger. Wonwoo pulls Junhui to a hug, and they cry together in each other's arms.

Soonyoung looks at his own lover, and his lover was already looking at him. Mingyu was smiling, his teeth showing. Soonyoung squints at him, skeptical. "Don't you dare, Kim Mingyu. I'm already a whirlwind of emotions, so don't make me more emotional." Mingyu laughs and gives Soonyoung's lips a quick peck. Soonyoung intertwined their hands together, and it felt like the first time—exciting, just like how Mingyu makes him feel.

"Don't worry, baby. I still don't have money for a proper ring. I want it special." Mingyu lies as he thinks about the lone velvet box waiting to be opened in his drawers back at the dorm.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> IF YOU WANT ME TO WRITE A SIDE WONHUI FIC, COMMENT OR HMU IN MY TWITTER @_jeonghooniesan
> 
> An epilogue is to come so expect it soon!


	9. The Epilogue: I Thought You Feel The Same.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The day we all have been waiting for.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It tooke me faster than expected ha ha ha.

_** 5 YEARS LATER. ** _

The round tables was covered in white with blue flowers inside of a pastel yellow vase on the middle. The spring air blows the petals softly and the table cloth brushes gently on people's legs. The tent had dim yellow lights and fairy lights circled around the sides. Everything was an accent of white, blue, and pastel yellow, and it all looked amazing, something that Soonyoung expects from Wonwoo's inner extra tendencies.

It was the 'Junhui X Wonwoo' wedding after 5 long years of waiting. The wedding was delayed by 4 years due to Wonwoo's decision to take up his masters and Junhui wanting to open a branch of his company in the middle of Seoul so that he doesn't have to stay in China. And now, Wonwoo's a professor in one of the best universities and also an author, and Junhui opened a branch in Seoul that succeeded to exceed expectations, most especially for his father who watched his own son do it for the sake of his lover.

As for Soonyoung and Mingyu, Soonyoung had a one year apprenticeship under a well-renowned ballerina in Paris and after that, went around the world to perform in theaters he is familiar with but also very different for another year. It left Mingyu alone for such a time, but he didn't want to hold his lover back, wanting to see Soonyoung shine on stage with every delicate step he takes and with every applause he receives. When Soonyoung comes home from the 2 years of separation, Mingyu noticed the obvious after glow and it made Mingyu happier that he let his lover reach his dream.

Mingyu was an indie film director, getting praise from the indie scene. For the past 3 years, Mingyu has made films that has won various indie awards, but when he was offered to have a spot in hollywood, he declined. He explains that he finds intimacy in what he makes when it is under indie, that he feels more closer to his films because it feels more personal and it doesn't restrict him from the growing hollywood norm.

And that's what happened between all four of them in a span of 5 years, and now, here they are, meeting another milestone, a memory to cherish until time passes. But Mingyu thinks that there will be another milestone to uncover tonight, Soonyoung just has to wait a little bit longer.

* * *

 

The wedding reception passes, Junhui and Wonwoo sharing kisses in between clinks of glasses, bathed in wedding bliss. Soonyoung gives his speech as Wonwoo's best man, and they both cry because he mentions how Wonwoo means to Soonyoung and if he didn't meet his brother from another mother, he wouldn't be the person everyone knew today. Junhui cried along Wonwoo's side, holding his hand under the table. When he finishes his speech, he eyes his group of friends.

Jihoon was tearing up, too, his fingers idly rubbing on the new engagement ring on his left ring finger that Seungcheol gave a few months ago. Chan is cuddled up on Jeonghan's side, his head resting on his lover's shoulder (no one would have guessed that they were a match made from heaven.) Seungkwan crying on Hansol, now his husband, and would whisper to themselves sometimes that only they could hear, and Soonyoung thinks that they deserve as much intimacy as the newly weds. Jisoo was on the side with a guitar wrapped around his shoulders and Seokmin holding the other's hand. Wonwoo wanted them to sing their wedding song for their first dance. And lastly, he sees Minghao with his wife, a very beautiful woman who was also a math teacher who thinks all 13 of then are destined to be together, and Soonyoung thinks its endearing that she thinks that.

Seungcheol did his speech as Junhui's best man, and Soonyoung could hear the slight crack of his voice when he says "and as I see you both here, as husbands, i think of my own fiancé and I think about that day that this too will happen.", and he could see Jihoon sobbing at his table and his friends rubbing his back to comfort him. Junhui cries too, because his best friend mentions the first time he fell in love with Wonwoo and how the other was happier than ever. And as Seungcheol finishes his speech, he looks at his own lover, his smile stretching from ear to ear and his eyes shining at the sight. Soonyoung falls in love all over again, like how he did the first time Soonyoung first laid eyes on Mingyu.

Wonwoo and Junhui's first dance passes, Jisoo and Seokmin's voices sounds like their love together, soft and velvety, intimate at the corners of their mouths and smooth at the center. They make their toasts after, and dinner ensues, the clatter of plates and laughter resounding through the tent was melodic and it made Soonyoung feel giddy. Minutes pass, and Wonwoo dances with his parents, and Junhui dances with his, and everyone is back to a crying mess, sniffs and tissues being passed around.

Without Soonyoung even noticing, it was time for the bouquet toss, and even if Soonyoung and Mingyu aren't single, Wonwoo demands the both if them to step to the front. Soonyoung and Mingyu walks to the front, and Soonyoung lets his lover lead him from the back, feelings his shoulder be held by strong hands. They were at the back of the crowd in the dance floor, and he sees Wonwoo stand on a chair, but isn't facing the other way. Soonyoung gives his best friend a questioning look, confused even, and Wonwoo just grins at him.

When Wonwoo throws the bouquet, he throws it directly to Soonyoug and his reflexes acts before his mind and catches it. He holds the flowers that was adorned with blue and yellow and it looked beautiful, but when he looks back at the crowd, everyone is looking past him, surprised look in their faces. Soonyoung turns around to see what they we're looking at, and when he turns, he sees Mingyu kneeling on one knee and holding a velvet box. Soonyoung could feel the tears in his eyes, because _finally._

Everyone goes silent so that they could hear what Mingyu will say.

"Baby." Soonyoung says, softly, looking at his lover with tears and a smile on his face.

"Kwon Soonyoung, it took me 5 years to finally propose." He holds up the box in his hand but doesn't open it. "Let me have this moment to confess to you again."

Soonyoung just nods, his hands trembling on the stems of the bouquet.

"Kwon Soonyoung, I remember the first time I laid my eyes on you; you were grinding on another man. I also remember the first time my heart skipped a beat for you; you just looked at me and smiled while you were taken out by the said man. A year passed, and i remember how we first met; we properly met at 3 in the morning in the library and you offered to get coffee. I remembered the first time you gave me your number; you said you wanted a pizza date buddy and I offered to be one, so we would go out on pizza dates at 1 in the morning. I remember the first time you said you loved me; we were blissed out from sex." Mingyu laughs at how ridiculous that night played out and Soonyoung laughs along. "You panicked because you didn't confess first before we had sex, but my heart skipped thousands of beats in the night. I also remember the night we didn't show up for our dinner. And the phone call Wonwoo gave me, and how i ran to your house until my lungs couldn't handle it anymore.

I remember the tears you shed when i first hugged you. I also remember the time you ran away from home, and how i cried on your apartment floor. I also remembered all of the days i would accompany you to your therapist and how you became happier after that. I remembered how you smiled and how i fell for you all over again. I remember the tears you had when justice was given to you, I also remember the small smile you were sporting when Junhui proposed to Wonwoo. I remember the day you left for paris, and i remember the videos you would send me of your performance. I would always say you were beautiful, and you would always deny it. I remember when you came back, your face was pink and you said your jaw hurt because you have been smiling too much.

I remember the time you walked with me in a carpet that wasn't exactly red and we had all cameras on us, and i remembered how you smiled at me when they called for my name for best director. I also remember we had sex that night and i didn't get to walk properly for 2 days." Mingyu could feel the tears in his eyes, and Soonyoung has been tearing up the whole time while listening carefully.

"In the span of 6 years, i have been the happiest. When I'm with you, the only thing i feel is happiness, and—" Mingyu raises the velvet box and opens it, showing the silver band. "I would like the feel the same the rest of my life. So, Kwon Soonyoung, my baby, my muse... Will you marry me?"

Mingyu could feel his heart pound on his chest as he shares smiles with his lover. Soonyoung tilts his head back slightly. "Ah fuck! Yes, Mingyu. I would fucking marry you!" Soonyoung shouts for everyone to hear. Mingyu stands and gets the ring from the box. Mingyu reaches for Soonyoung's left hand and slips the silver band in his ring finger, and they kiss. Even when everyone cheering for them, everything was silent. time stopping as they let their bodies feel each other's warmth. Even with Wonwoo's shouts 'Go best friend. That's my best friend', he keeps his hands on Mingyu, letting their lips intertwine.

Soonyoung and Mingyu separates, but their foreheads still leaning on each other. Soonyoung thinks about how much he let himself go for the past 6 years him and Mingyu has been together, how he remembers the words 'I love you' was given and received, and he thinks that he is the happiest person alive.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And that is the end folks!!! Thank you to those who followed my story, and if you're only reading this now, thank you for having the time to read it :) i hope you guys enjoyed my first baby. It is my first ever multi chaptered fanfic and i feel very happy for this!! If you want a side wonhui and how their relationship came to be and how their goals af, hmu yall just comment and sht
> 
> I might as well tell you guys about my future projects hehe  
> 1\. We Came Alive (Tentative title)  
> \- JICHEOL  
> \- Jihoon didn't debut with seventeen, but he keeps in touch with his best friend, and lover, Seungcheol
> 
> 2\. SEVENTEENxREADER DOMESTIC!AU  
> \- all seventeen members with the reader, which is you, having a domestic relationship and its all cute and fluffy fjsosjogjrkf
> 
> 3\. Hold On To This Feelings (tentative title)  
> \- JUNHAO  
> \- soulmate!au  
> \- Minghao hates Junhui and vice versa, but when he sees Jun's soulmate mark, Minghao couldn't help but clench at his own mark that is at the same place as his.
> 
> 4\. Will You Be There (To Carry Me Home?) ((tentative title))  
> \- JISOOxSEOKMIN  
> \- there was an emergency fire drill at his apartment complex and everyone runs out to the open evening air, and he couldn't help but laugh at that one guy who comes out butt naked and red cheeks from embarassment. But Jisoo is a 'saint', so he offers his jacket to the butt naked guy, not expecting him to have a huge impact to his everyday life.
> 
> And that's it y'all!!!!! I wish all of these projects come to life, so please support and anticipate it hahahaha
> 
> Shout at me at my twitter if you guys want!!!! @_jeonghooniesan


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